Pain is Constructive or Destructive?
Something which makes us uncomfortable and something which constantly gives us dissatisfaction. Sometimes, it reaches the point where it physically hurts you. You have to recognize the cause and deal with it with utmost patience and believe that IT WILL GO AWAY.
It has been almost 11 months and who would have thought that we would live like this; sitting at home for months and largely, doing nothing?
As time passed by, we unknowingly or unconsciously became lazy. No, I wouldn’t say lazy, we have become passive and hopeless. This pandemic has made us not only physically but also mentally paralyzed without us knowing it.
I guess this whole atmosphere is so new to us and therefore we cannot get habituated with a life like this. A life where our hands are tied and mouths are shut, where we’re free to walk but not allowed to run, where we have so much time to do everything yet we don’t want to do anything. This is not only your story; this is the whole world’s story.
Some people realized this and started to look for an opportunity. They started to get the most out of it before it’s too late. But some people are still there where they were when they started. Besides complaining, they did nothing. They have been caressing the wound and keep remembering the pain. They keep bringing the pain to themselves instead of doing something about making it go away.
Let us look at this from a different perspective. Imagine everything is normal. We are living our life without the mask and sanitizer. We are roaming around without any fear and especially right now we are planning our holiday for Diwali vacation and we are happy from within. Now, in a life like this, if something happens to you, i.e. you don’t get the promotion that you’ve been waiting for too long, or you failed an examination, or your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you, or the job which you were hoping to get; you didn’t get it; in short anything which didn’t go exactly as per your plan and expectations, what would have done? Would you have wasted your time crying about it or would you have dusted the disappointment off of your mind and moved on for the batter? Of course, it would have brought pain to your life and you would have cried a bit too. But in the end, whether you like it or not you would have moved on.
“You see, that’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Yes, it demands to be felt. The major mistake most of us make is to run away from this feeling and bringing more and more pain and misery to ourselves. But once you feel all of it, you’ll find yourself changed from within. For an instance, you are severely ill and you are hospitalized. Along with physical pain and discomfort; you’ll also go through mental pain and discomfort and that is a crucial time. At this point, you’ll have to decide if you want to be sunk in the oceans of doubts, disappointments, and discomforts or you want to channelize this energy and come out stronger than before.
Even if we are not hospitalized and physically ill, right now we are mentally sick and don’t even know it. We are unaware of our feelings. We are emotionally distant from our loved ones despite living right there with them. And the ironic situation is that we expect everyone around us to treat us normally while we don’t do the same, we expect them to understand our state of mind and our depressive condition while we don’t and/or can’t do the same. We want everyone to treat us normally while subconsciously we know that it is us who is not normal; not them. And this is how our mind tricks us into making choices which we would regret. It controls us with these emotions and blurs our vision.
This has created so much mess in our minds and we have become so confused that we have forgotten that we are humans only. We are allowed to feel each and every emotion. We are allowed to take our own time to recover from the pain that’s been there in our hearts. We are allowed to talk about things which are bothering us. We are allowed to speak out loud about our fears and insecurities. We are allowed to discuss things without the fear of being judged and we are allowed to be vulnerable. In short, we are allowed to be humans, and by ‘we’ I mean we all; women as well as men.
If you don’t have a person to whom you can open yourself and be who you are or you are not comfortable talking about these things with anyone, don’t worry. You have You. Sit in a quiet place. Switch off the phone or any other thing which can distract you. Now, close your eyes and ask yourself this question: Who am I? Thoughts will come rushing to your mind but don’t panic. Contemplate over those thoughts and just when you think you will not be able to take it anymore; write them down. Write those thoughts and again close your eyes. Now, thank yourself for at least trying. Thank yourself for being patient with you. Smile and open your eyes. Now, you read those thoughts and analyze them. Maybe you wouldn’t have found the answer but now you have planted a seed into yourself for finding yourself. Unless and until you find the answer to this question, your soul will not allow you to stop and you will want to find the answer and you Will find the answer. It is a matter of dedication and discipline now. Do this exercise every day and you will find so much in you which would surprise you. You will come across your strengths as well as your weaknesses.
So, don’t wait around and give yourself surprises every day. Once you realize how beautiful you are from within, you’ll definitely thank yourself for taking this initiative and you’ll be happily satisfied with the thought of giving yourself another chance.
“Because you Grow what you Go through.”
Originally published at https://www.thelitthings.com.